The Warmest Colour

The Warmest Colour

(2015)

I never had a favorite colour. Never. I just enjoyed all of them and had periods when I was attached to one more than others.
My preference for yellow was like any other colour, I liked it and that was it.
That was until a few months ago.
As my anxiety issues grew bigger, my fascination for this colour grew inside me unconsciously.
As soon as my eyes laid on something yellow, I felt like I needed to obtain it because it would make me feel better.
I
started to wear yellow clothes on the days I felt sad or emotionally
unstable because I knew it would protect me. I did my nails yellow, I
bought a yellow phone cover and the wallpaper on my phone is a picture
of Gutedama, a SANRIO character that’s an egg yolk and guess what? It’s
yellow.
I didn’t see the relationship between my mental
condition and my attraction towards this colour until one day I was
feeling bad, someone told me they liked the yellow cardigan I was
wearing because they knew yellow was known to be a “happy” colour.
That’s
when it striked me and when I remembered the fact Van Gogh used to eat
yellow paint because he thought it would make him feel better. He
thought that if he ate yellow paint then he would instantly be happier.
I
realize I was trying to do the same, I would try to surround myself
with this colour because I thought it would make me feel better and
safer.
This series is also a way to help me feel better. By
putting myself out there, facing my own demons and facing my ways to
fight them is a way to accept my current condition.
I wish feeling better was easy as just wearing a yellow cardigan or a yellow coat, but at least, it’s helping a bit.

 

 

 

 

 

Guadalupe Acevedo
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